the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
