no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
