So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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