Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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