don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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