I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
