Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
