Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
