you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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