How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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