thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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