I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
