I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
