I'm lost and stupid without you.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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