I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
