how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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