fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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