She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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