He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
