If you die in college, do you die in real life?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
