The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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