we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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