respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
