so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize