phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
