Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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