New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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