Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
