Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
