the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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