eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
