i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Farmville is her only friend.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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