A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
