I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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