Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
