Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we made out on top of his cat.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
