I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
