Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Boobs speak an international language.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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