Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
