Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
