seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
