so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
