there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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