I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
