You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
