yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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