I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
