Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
