He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my sisters under your porch take her home
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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