Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
