My nipple is on Facebook.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't think brook has ever known best
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
my poor anus
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
